The Perils of Not Letting Go of Judging People

awakeJudging others can be the result of a lack of self efficacy. In short a poor self image. While this sounds easily similar to pop psychology it isn’t. 

I once saw a man in San Pedro, California pushing a shopping cart full of “this and that.” Things no rational person would want. I looked at him with disdain as I climbed from my Cadillac. He was unshaven, clothes tattered. The streets were littered with them.

I edged closer as he spoke with two police officers. Surely he was begging for money rather than work for a living. He began to spray, polish, shine their police cruiser until the car sparkled. When they prepared to pay him, this man resisted until he had inspected his work …. again. The officers stood there quietly as he walked behind one corner of the cruiser and then the next. Read what transpired next at my other blog. In the meantime Leo Babauta has added insights you can also use:

One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception.

But I’ve gotten better at noticing when it happens. And recognizing that it’s a sign of something harmful.

The judging itself isn’t bad. It’s what the judging is a symptom of that’s harmful. I say “harmful” instead of “bad” because instead of judging I’d rather observe that it causes harm.

What underlying harmful causes/situations are indicated by my judging people? Well, here are a few:

I am very ignorant of what the person is going through.

I don’t understand the situation.

I have unrealistic expectations of people.

I think I’m superior to other people.

I’m not grateful.

I’m being self-centered.

I’m not being curious, but instead I close off all learning.

I can’t really help the situation from a place of judgment.: {…}

Read full article via Letting Go of Judging People : zenhabits.

Hire Jim Woods, speakers, leadership, consultant, hr, innovationJim is president of InnoThink Group and Leadership Matters.  He is a leader in workplace learning, productivity, performance, and leadership training solutions. For over 25 years, we have helped companies improve their performance, productivity, and bottom-line results.

Contact us See a partial list of Jim’s clients. Click here to Hire Jim Woods to Speak  | Follow us: Facebook | Follow us: Twitter | Skype ID – jim.woods79


Jim Woods is president of The Jim Woods Group. A management consulting firm. Go here to see his work He advises and speaks to organizations large and small on how to increase top line growth in times of uncertainty and complexity. Some of his speaking and consulting clients include: U.S. Army, MITRE Corporation, Pitney Bowes, Whirlpool, and 3M. See more at his website

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Posted in Forgiveness, Success and Abundance

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