5 Ways To Move Forward From Rejection and Shame


I quite adore this quote on rejection.  It summarizes how all of us feel. Note the word “feel.” If life is stressful it is us that made it so. Rejection is tantamount to life’s adversity. It is wholly necessary and inevitable

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.” ― Henri J.M. Nouwen

A whisper that I had been ignoring for far too long finally spoke a little louder and said, “You are here for more than this.” It came as a feeling and awareness all throughout my body.

For you, it may feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle, one that keeps you from feeling whole and fulfilled. It’s a sense that something is missing, and you are ready to break free. You realize that your deepest desire is to improve your life and fill that greater vision for yourself.

These feelings are natural and normal, and there is absolutely no reason to let them stop you.

Ground yourself in the present.

In other words, start where you are. Until you fully accept where you are, you can’t move forward. Get real with yourself and shine a light onto all of those things that are not serving you.

This is the time to fully sit with the reality of the present moment and allow yourself to feel any and all of the feelings that come up for you. Often, our “stuckness” happens because we are trying to avoid these feelings, so it’s important to just let yourself feel them. Remember, they are not wrong. They just are what they are.

When you feel them, you can get them up and out, which leaves you with a greater sense of determination and clarity.

Create a vision.

Get super clear on the vision you see for yourself. You’ve sensed there is something better, but what does it look like?

Focus on this vision daily and perhaps even create a vision board. (Love those!) Focusing on your vision daily allows you to align your thoughts and actions with that vision so every part of you can work together for your best interest.

Take a look at the path you are currently on. Then, take a look at your vision. Honestly, where do you want to go?

Make the decision to move towards your vision no matter what. It all starts with a decision. Know that you can handle whatever the journey brings you.

Do a free form writing exercise with “Fears” written across the top. Get real honest about what you’re afraid of. Seriously, write it all down, as no one will see this.

Now, burn it! I mean it. Release those fears: out through your body, onto the paper, and into nothingness.[…]

via http://tinybuddha.com 



Jim Woods is president of The Jim Woods Group. A management consulting firm. Go here to see his work www.jimwoodsgroup.com. He advises and speaks to organizations large and small on how to increase top line growth in times of uncertainty and complexity. Some of his speaking and consulting clients include: U.S. Army, MITRE Corporation, Pitney Bowes, Whirlpool, and 3M. See more at his website www.jimwoodsgroup.com.

Posted in Rejection

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