It seems that a truly happy couple is mythical. We see or hear of people we long admired only to discover there are hidden secrets underneath. This need not occur. Of course, as a man divorced after 30 years of marriage I must admit it is the frequent application of the little things that become the big things.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if a truly happy couple from the inside out really exists. Most, of you will disagree until you really reflect, appear to be either a form of apathy or anarchy. Neither really care, admitting if at all in quiet recesses. The other, anarchy, is when the man makes most if all the decisions while the significant other remains subservient.
This may sound fatalistic. It isn’t. I’ve made it a point to keenly observe people beyond the obvious. As a perpetual romantic I still believe in happy ever after. Quite a bit in fact. Perhaps, just perhaps, in this age of more communication devices than any other time in history …. the real key is communication. As Covey said, Seek to understand rather than to be understood.
None of us are able to control the way another behaves. We can however control how we respond to any negative behavior. Assuming 100% responsibility for what we are doing in a relationship can immeasurably improve even a stale relationship.
What does it take to be happy in a relationship? Simple, a lack of selfishness and a desire to understand rather than understood. Jim
If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are some habits of happy couples from Psychology Today:
Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them.
Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
… buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
Read Full Article Psychology Today.
Jim Woods is President of The Jim Woods Group Management Consultants. To hire Jim to speak at your next event click here to visit his website.